As a host and community builder, I’ve been experimenting and refining what it means to show up and create space for connection.

For me, hosting has always been less about finding the perfect space, capturing the most Instagram-worthy moment, or having a ton of people attending, and more about creating real connections I’ve craved.

It starts with small gestures, including greeting someone warmly at the door, watching strangers become friends, and seeing a guest leave feeling inspired.

That’s where the magic happens.

And rather than being tied to a single venue or rigid event format, I’ve found freedom and excitement in adapting to different spaces and opportunities.

Embracing flexibility and working with what I have has opened up new ways to bring people together. And specifically, not having a physical “third space” that I consistently have access to has become a creative advantage, allowing me to focus on what truly makes gatherings memorable: the people in the room, the energy we share, and the intention behind every detail.

So far, on this journey and many iterations along the way, three core themes have surfaced:

1. Smaller gatherings or larger ones designed to foster intimacy foster deeper, more meaningful interactions.

2. The energy of an event comes from the host’s intention and the diversity of experiences or backgrounds present.

3. Large events need even more intention to create an authentic connection. True “scale” is measured by meaningful moments, not by headcount.

On intimacy and depth

Intimate events have a distinct advantage: they create special moments that foster deeper connections. And that’s true across events that are either smaller in scale, with a shorter guest list, or larger, designed to create more intimate moments.

For example, sideseries, a painting class, and an afternoon of creative decompression that my friends and I cohosted, consisted of 1 instructor and 2 additional facilitators, with a total guest count of 15. This led to a 1:5 ratio, meaning that even while I was teaching how to paint something, other facilitators could step in to answer questions or help gather or share materials.

@lxluo

Leslie on Instagram: "our first sideseries: painting tiny lands…

We also hosted sideries out of Verci, which had a smaller room designed for a more intimate layout, leading to more natural conversation among folks sitting across from one another.

Painting (and starting anything new) can also be daunting. Beginners received extra attention from facilitators, and if we weren’t able to, because of the closer, more intimate layout, folks beside them were able to help.

At SANS, a non-alcoholic craft cocktail experience curated by Billy Cho and hosted by yours truly, we had 1 bartender, 1 host, and 1 helper with around 40+ folks in attendance, coming and going at different times.

With many folks coming in, I noted who knew who and how I could enlist the help of +1s and friend groups to ease comfort.

For those who came solo, I made sure introduce them to someone new. For friends of friends, we found ways to connect with other friend groups, often sharing small anecdotes to help bring folks together. In the end, less was also more.

@lxluo

Leslie on Instagram: "This was SANS, an idea @billygerent and I…

Once conversations started flowing, we found ways to ease other potential tensions. The line to get drinks was long, so we surprised guests with a special non-alcoholic amaro and sparkling cider sampler while they waited. This served as a moment share a cool non-alcoholic cocktail mix they could recreate themselves, plus a fun moment to taste something delicious together. At the last hour of the event, we kicked off a rapid-fire surprise raffle, giving away additional drinks guests could keep or share, sparking more laughter and conversation.

Intimacy is created through design—ratios, space layout, and how you facilitate connections. Depth is possible at any size when you’re intentional.

Energy and diversity

An event’s energy also heavily depends on the host’s energy and intention.

As Kyra Yamamoto notes, “What makes the evening memorable isn’t extravagance, it’s the confidence to stop before anything becomes “too much”. This is not instinct, it is design. The feeling that every detail has been considered, then deliberately curated. What registers as ease is never accidental; it is the result of editing, discipline, and a clear point of view.”

During get lost (& paint), a free-flow, come-as-you-are painting afternoon session, it was designed specifically for guests to come and slow down together. Guests were told to come with inspiration so they could jump right into painting.

They were able to do so because each station was already set up with everything they needed, from paintbrushes to color wheels. Canvases and paint were also placed in different parts of the room to invite movement, reduce creative fatigue, and create natural moments for conversation.

@lxluo

Leslie on Instagram: "a little behind the scenes of all the pre…

A curated playlist of slow jams that remained upbeat enough to keep energy light, along with delicious, simple bites, supported creative flow and meaningful pauses whenever guests needed a boost to keep going. Each detail is considered.

With Ground & Gather, a yoga and tea event I cohosted with , we wanted to introduce a morning of movement and opportunity for connection.

Regardless of level, Dana leads with the intention of fun and play, emphasizing “come as you are” to lower the pressure to perform and supporting guests of all levels and backgrounds.

And afterward, we gathered our guests for a light breakfast and warm teas of their choice to nourish our bodies on a day of rest.

While we had 12 guests, it could have easily been set up for a large-group conversation. Instead, we intentionally created smaller zones (kitchen, dining, and coffee table seating areas) and placed conversation cards with opening questions to help guests get to know one another.

In the end, people could choose to connect, rest, or catch up with friends. And everyone showed up and lingered into the early afternoon, even through one of the first snowstorms we’ve had in New York this year!

Energy and diversity are curated. By designing different ways to participate and connect, you let each guest find their own way into the experience. The host is a curator of tone, flow, and ease.

Connection at scale

Large events need even more intention to create an authentic connection.

With over 200 attendees, my cohosts and I intentionally created layered experiences throughout Uber’s 2025 NY Design Night. We created an earlier friends-and-family pre-event that enabled a subset of attendees to meet with the team and one another before opening up to the main event. This encouraged folks and gave them some familiarity as they walked into what could have felt like a daunting experience.

And with only 3 main cohosts, we enlisted many teammates to assigned roles. Greeters, folks to mingle with guests, collaborating with IT and facilities colleagues to ensure music, sound, food, and drink were perfect, enabled us to get every detail right without having to be at every location at once, leaving decisions to be made by experts confident in their area.

Plus, a rigorous run-of-show walkthrough allowed us to confidently map the event flow down to the minute, keeping us in sync as needed and making it easy to flex as timing and audience energy changed.

Ultimately, though, scale comes from ripple effects from any event, regardless of headcount.

Instead of leaving with 10 loose connections, guests leaving with a single meaningful connection that leads to friendship or collaboration matters much more.

Guests who become inspired to host their own events or pursue a new creative hobby, like painting more, can be an incredible outcome.

And attendees taking something tangible home, like hanging their paintings up, or an intangible, like a moment of inspiration, into their daily lives, matters more in the long run.

Scale is about multiplying meaningful connections, not numbers. Success is when people leave inspired and connected—whether it’s one person or many.

Intention and connection outlast scale

In the end, I continue to learn that intention and connection outlast scale in raw headcount.

With every event kickoff and post-event reflection session, I always open and close with the intention of creating meaningful experiences for our community.

Whether or not we have the most beautiful venue. Whether there’s a snowstorm or not, creating the right conditions with resourcefulness and care can lead to more memorable and impactful gatherings. And people will show up for you, and more importantly, for themselves. To allow themselves to be true villagers and build a village together.

Let’s build together

I’d love to hear from you.

What kind of connections do you want to create?

What are you exploring with your community at the moment?

I’d also love to invite you to an upcoming community event in Brooklyn:

Get Lost (& Send Love), a creative afternoon where we’ll slow down and create personalized cards to send to friends and loved ones. Tickets include complimentary mini bouquets to take home, light bites, and all the materials you need to get crafty. Plus $1 of every ticket sale donated to Heart of Dinner.

Tickets: https://luma.com/efwbcyov

Hope to see you there!

west & ease is part of & luo studio, where I do fractional design consulting, design coaching, and host creative community events. If you're a brand, team, or creative partner interested in collaborating on any of that, I'd love to connect. You can learn more and reach out at andluo.studio.

Music by lsaudio from Pixabay

While I’m no expert in Chinese astrology, I’ve been enjoying learning more about this fiery, intense year. Jing Gao of Jing Theory breaks down some moments in history that the fire horse coincided with (Cultural Revolution, Vietnam War, and Cold War!), seeing how is celebrating new years in Taiwan (really cool to see celebration traditions and some fun events and offerings for NY based folks), plus a fun reminder from on what not to do this new year’s day to ensure we preserve our good luck at the start of this year with Ava Lee of GlowwithAva.

@jingtheory

Jing Gao | The Fire Horse 🔥🐎 year begins on Feb 17, also fall…

As we kick off the new year, I wanted to offer and give thanks to all of you for being here and supporting west & ease. I started a version of this Substack (a blog I used to write musings, travel guides, recommended music, and much, much more) back in 2016 as a way to learn and share with others. It means so much to see you all here and to continue to grow together. Head over to www.westandease.com/yearofthefirehorse to redeem your free 1-month access to all paid posts.

So, if you’ve been interested in reading any of these, now’s your chance:

Here’s to a year of being more well-read, learning, and sharing together.

At the beginning of 2025, I began to ponder a simple question: “What does it mean to build community?” Living in New York, it’s easy to be surrounded by many people, but people alone do not create community.

Because to me, community is defined, as Merriam-Webster would, as “a state or feeling of caring about and wanting to interact with others in a group.” Specifically, the feeling of finding space and belonging with others.

And so, I began to explore with my community what it means to create and engage in community.

Experimenting with creating community

2025 led me on a journey to explore and create community.

In April, I co-hosted Uber’s Design Night in NYC to reconnect with the design community and open our doors to share knowledge and space. It was vital that we shared space with external speakers like Maxim Leyzerovich, who was building beyond the norm by driving innovation at Amtrak, and Benn Y. Lam, who was navigating a design career focused on positive social and environmental impact. Most importantly, we provided a physical space for designers of all walks of life to connect.

In June, alongside my friends Abi and Denise, we hosted “sideseries,” which we experimented as potentially a first event for us to create space to step away from our busy day-to-day lives. It was the first time I shared my painting skills in person as @liftandlost, and it became a way for me to introduce what felt like a lonely hobby into a real activity shared by friends. My hope was to create an experience in which an activity that can feel very daunting becomes approachable and easy. In this event, you simply showed up, tried, and it worked.

Then, alongside Abi, we convinced Sankeerth Garapati to co-host “that dinner party.” We knew he loved cooking, experiencing high-quality dining, and sharing the culinary experience with others. In a span of two months, he whipped up a menu and we threw a dinner party of 20 on the hottest day of the summer. Every guest left with their bellies full and at least one new friend as they walked out the door.

Finally, I hosted “get lost (& paint)” to provide space and remove the cold start to creativity. I invited my friends over for a free-flow painting session, and everyone came prepared to paint or at least try, without the worry of setup or materials. All guests left with beautiful paintings and brushes to take home on a cold December day.

@lxluo

Leslie on Instagram: "One of my intentions entering 2025 this y…

Most importantly, hosting and building community taught me that lowering the barrier to entry, whether that’s skill, confidence, or familiarity, is what allows people to show up fully.

Learning by participating in community

For me, building community also means participating and lending a helping hand. And I found that to be true as a participant.

On a cold March evening, my friend Dana and I trekked into Greenpoint to attend Gab’s Lucky Dinner Club. What unfurled was an incredible night of paired wines and gorgeous food. The fun conversations we had with strangers on the cold fire escape and stumbling home in my tall boots, feeling an irresistible joy that I had no idea I would be stepping into. After all, I was stepping into a complete stranger’s home and left with a few foodie friends who loved to have a good time.

@luckydinnerclub

Lucky Dinner Club on Instagram: "💌LUCKY DINNER CLUB FOREVER💌
…

In July, I serendipitously saw and immediately applied to join the inaugural Creative Morning’s Mentorship Stoop. Led by the incredible Tina Roth Eisenberg, alongside Kelly Surun and Matteo Bologna, they held space on an actual brownstone stoop in Brooklyn, complete with bagels and coffee. I heard from people who have been running their businesses independently for decades, folks navigating their freelance careers, and more. For each of us, something cracked open. I remember pouring out what I had kept close—that I wanted to leave my day job and finally start something of my own. And I was reminded to manifest: to write a letter to myself envisioning the life I want to live. I left feeling incredibly inspired by being vulnerable and honest with myself and others in the community.

As we entered fall, I saw a Substack note from Ella Henry about her Airbnb experiences and, luckily I snagged a coveted ticket. When I showed up, I didn’t know I would eventually leave feeling so nourished by the food, space, and company. I remember sharing, for one of the first times, a few major personal accomplishments and the decision to change my career while sipping on teas we had crafted ourselves. And when I left, a few of us ended up sitting for hours, and people watched at Washington Square Park. The space Ella created was a physical manifestation of the energy and care she brings to Gut Feelings, and I left feeling seen and grateful (with a ton of goodies)!

@glowwithella

Ella Henry on Instagram: "and that’s a wrap!!!!

thank you @air…

And finally, I was invited to Nirupa’s Kitchen Aid x Bazaar dinner to celebrate her 100K followers. We met only the month prior, but to witness how Nirupa opens up and creates conversation over delicious food. From her first time doing a live cooking demo of her incredible burrata chaat (a hit and must-recreate) to our beautifully intimate dinner, where each guest shared and spilled a little of themselves, I felt how and why Nirupa’s energy is so magnetic. She asks, but more importantly, she listens and does it in a way that builds on top of a conversation where everyone is included—all over a plate of good food. I felt so lucky and grateful to have a seat.

@bazaar_nyc

Nirupa konijeti on Instagram: "Come with me to host a Friendsgi…

These experiences didn’t exist in isolation. They’re part of a larger ecosystem of people designing care, culture, and connection across the city.

Continuing community in 2026

As 2025 came to a close, there were lots of conversations floating around on how the price of community is inconvenience (or annoyance). To me, it served as a reminder that community ultimately means trying and, yes, putting on those pants to go outside. After all, we can’t survive in this life on our own, and we have to show up for one another to build stronger connections and support each other in our growth and success.

And so, as the new year begins, my hope is to continue partnering with creatives and push forward on what it means to create and participate in community. It’ll always be a work in progress, but I’m ecstatic to make it happen.

So, if you’re ready to take the leap to show up and participate in a work in progress, I’m cohosting a few events in January: a wellbeing-focused event with Ground + Gather: a yoga and tea event with Dana Lee and SANS: a craft non-alcoholic cocktail experience with Billy Cho. Hope to see you there, and we can practice building community together.

Music by lsaudio from Pixabay